New Deals announced in President's home city

Pharmaceutical company lobbyists announced a new agreement with the
Central Health Care Planning Administration (CHCPA) that will
indirectly benefit the President today. These deals will bring an
increase in income to several of the companies he uses to manage his
assets while he is in office. This arrangement helps our great leader
comply with conflict-of-interest rulings that limit what the President
can and can't engage in while in office. The companies will not
actually be producing or selling the medicines but will contract with
foreign countries so they can continue to produce the medicines used
by CHCPA medical facilities.

In a related story there has been an increase in the number of birth
defects being found in babies being born in America. There are
requests on file in the countries that produce the medicines used in
CHCPA medical facilities to allow the FDA to review the production
methods being used but these requests continue to go unanswered.

Euthanasia Interviews Scheduled

The Central Health Care Planning Administration (CHCPA) announced next
year's euthanasia interview schedule today in a quiet blog post on
it's website. These interviews are done with all American citizens
over the age of 50 in an effort to identify people who's health care
is too costly a burden on the system and helps cull the country's
population of older unproducticlve citizens.

"My interview went fine", said 72-year-old Maria James of Anaheim, CA,
yesterday. "They asked me if I was still working and verified the
list of government-provided medications I was taking," she said in and
after-interview. Maria and herbfamily are ready for her to die if the
government deems it necessary for her to move on. "I've lived a long
and happy life", she said, and then talked about how she loved Barak
and all the things he has done for her.

In a related story several youths were put under cryogenic stasis in
response to their efforts to hide an 82-year-old woman they call their
abuela. The youths will have a parole interview in 20 years, long
after their so-called grandmother has passed in to oblivion in
response to the call of her government.

Legislation not colorblind

In yet another law proposed and passed by the Obama adminstration race
has everything to do with how it is applied. The newly signed
Reparations Act of 2013 allows people of African descent to forcibly
evict caucasion people from their homes and take the property for
their own. This law is an attempt to even out the terrible things
done to Africans that were brought to the North American continent
against their will. It has been noticed that many people who have
never been in the US have taken part in these evictions, and the
transfer of wealth from the oppressive races to the non-oppressive
races continues unabated.

The Central Planning Administration of the American government
announced that there would be an increase on the number of flights
between the US and the African continent.

New Age Rules for Critical Care

Dateline: Sometime in 2015

The Central Health Care Planning Administration (CHCPA) announced new sweeping age restrictions for some of the most critical of health care provided by the US government's socialist health care system today. The new restrictions will make things like cancer tests and MRIs unavailable to many of the senior citizens in the United States starting in September.

"These restrictions are necessary for the health of our population," an unnamed official advised. "If we don't limit what the older people have available to them more of them will just continue to live and drain the limited resources available in our health care system."

To have it so bluntly stated comes as a chilling blow to the older Democrats that voted for Obama and have fought to have his policies put in to place. One 82-year-old lady in Washington, DC, was quoted as saying "I helped put him there, but now I can't do anything to get rid of him."

In related news the CHCPA announced new limits on the number of children a marital unit will be authorized to have and house. The Federal Police Department is struggling to come up with ways to enforce the new rules as we move smartly in to the new and bright future the socialist Obama administration has planned for the United States.

Staff Writer

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